Right here, meet Wuxia Guji 👋🏻.

He raises many cats and a small dog. He often wonders aloud if the intimate companionship animals provide can, to some extent, be compared to that of human children.

Xuyan is undeniably a ‘successful person’ by societal standards: a PhD from Fudan University, married to another PhD, and appointed as an R&D Director at a major firm right after graduation.

What are Xuyan’s outlook on life and values upon first meeting? Probably “infinite ambition.” The phrase he says most to me is:

Xuyan: “Keep going, young man. I really don’t understand your generation; there’s a whole era between us.”

Wuxia: “Are you really that old?”

Xuyan: “I’m a product of the 1990s.”

Wuxia: “People obsess over age and ‘peers.’ They’re lying to you. Some people in their 20s live like old men, while some in their 60s are bouncing all over the place. Some are alive but no longer ‘present’.”

Xuyan found my logic somewhat reasonable and shifted the topic:

Xuyan: “It’s all natural. Why care so much? I don’t care about age at all.”

Wuxia: “Next time someone talks to you with a tone of fatalism, using age as their authority as if they know everything—block them. Say goodbye immediately, okay?”

I even looked up some books to support this.

Wuxia: “I get it now. This is Linguistic Relativity—language shapes reality, but our internal structure also participates in that shaping.”

Xuyan: “Why study something so ‘high-level’? Why research this? [Typical scientist brain: Why research this? What’s the application? Can it be a paper?]”

Wuxia: “I’ve flipped through some research. My mind wanders; that feeling is exactly like you doing R&D on a project. You understand.”

He’s perhaps too used to being an executive; he’s starting to carry that “leadership aura” (the kind where someone pats your shoulder and says—Keep at it, young man, you have infinite hope and potential. It’s like an elder in the family staring at you for a long time, thoughts racing, only to blurt out: What rank were you in the exam? What grade are you in now?).

Xuyan is both talkative and stubborn. His talkativeness manifested during a team-building event where he poured out his “glorious history”—his personal struggle through undergrad, Master’s, and PhD. I was, of course, all ears, happy to listen to any story.

Pride is both his virtue and his vice. This man cannot be ‘comforted.’ Any psychological solace is viewed by Xuyan as a profanation of his character. I fully understood this and played along. Perhaps Xuyan thinks: I hold a high position, I am older, highly educated, tall… if I need comfort from a workplace rookie, that would be the ultimate joke. I should be the one guiding them.

Indeed, you must know that often people don’t need comfort. For Xuyan, one only needs to recover their own energy—to find a solvable path. Any sign of weakness that can be seen through by others is a crack in one’s external armor. How could one face the world’s challenges with a shattered mask?

Of course, there are no truly ‘mature’ people in this world. Most so-called mature people are just boring, albeit decent, characters.

Xuyan is deathly stubborn in his professional field. If I ask one question, he expands it into ten others. I simply couldn’t understand or refute him, so I had to change the subject quickly.

Xuyan has regrets, but they haven’t been well-resolved. You might say he yearns for certain lost moments—a common human ailment. But he also says that now is the best time. (However, these moments of contradiction are rare; unlike most people, his contradictions don’t occupy the majority of his time.)

What does he regret? He regrets not traveling enough during the pandemic. Although he has the funds now, he feels he lacks the time. But there are weekends and holidays… this should be attributed to “mental energy,” or more accurately, a lack of it. But if I told someone as proud as Xuyan that he lacked “mental energy,” he’d probably strangle me. So what is it? I’ve got it: 1. Xuyan is a goal-chaser. He sets a target and charges forward, but he doesn’t enjoy the process, hence the regrets over unachieved goals. 2. For the current him, does he need “travel”? No. He needs the impact and expansion that comes from “drifting” everywhere, which he might achieve through his career instead.

At this stage, he might not need travel to display “vitality” [social media defines vitality as fresh things, places, and activities]. But what is vitality? It’s being in an environment yet retaining your own vivid traits, regardless of how others label you. Too unrefined? Not mature enough? Incompatible? This is why Xuyan is different. You can see his pride, his efficiency, his absolute intelligence; but throughout this text, you also see his innocence and boyishness.

He attained and internalized his vitality long ago. He hasn’t looked at himself; instead, he looks at something he once envied. When he finally looks at himself, perhaps he will discover that he still retains some innocence. His life seems stuck in a loop of repetition. Perhaps he can still embody the state of ‘rushing forward/not going gentle into that good night’ through his devotion to research and his help for colleagues. When a person is fully immersed in something, it constitutes the meaning of their life.

The problem is the company traps him too much. He is mired in corporate trivia. Once, during a boring online meeting, I suggested:

Wuxia: “You can just mute yourself and go play.”

Xuyan: “The camera has to be on, you know?”

Wuxia: “Forget I said anything. Good luck.”

So what? Compliance vs. resistance is just a lifestyle choice. You might think taking neat notes in a meeting is the pinnacle of professionalism, but do those note-takers really know what they are writing? Likely not.

It’s like being indoctrinated with the idea that there’s a “right way” to do everything—from sleep schedules to eating to crossing the street. As a child, you thought that when you grew up, you would enter a set of norms, learn the code, and be classified as a certain type of person. You didn’t quite understand them, but you thought that was the look of success. People around you operate in ways you don’t understand but are expected to, with a certain certain tone: “You’ll understand what I mean; if you don’t, the time just hasn’t come yet.”

Xuyan did indeed run according to their expectations, right up to the present—a perfect specimen of social success. But… what’s next?

Xuyan may have discovered another way the world works. The people he once viewed as authorities aren’t always right. He thought a certain person or class of people had the answers, but slowly he realized that wasn’t the case. He began to explore his own way.

As for what happens next, stay tuned…

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• Podcast: 【就在此地 Right here】
• Email: rightheretc@163.com